Shakira; The new Poster-Whore for immigration

This morning I awoke to overcast skies, a broken clutch pedal, and the news that Shakira is outraged by Arizona’s new immigration law and wants Congress to work quickly to ensure that other States don’t follow Arizona’s lead in taking control of their own property and assets. The 33 year-old Latina pop star was on CNN recently, chatting with Sanjay Gupta about the new law, and giving some incredibly ignorant insight on the US Constitution, Arizona’s Law, and the way things work in the United States of America.

Like me, you may ask why CNN chose to interview a young, uneducated sex-seller about US immigration law when we have a wise Latina woman sitting on the highest court in the land. I can’t speak for CNN on that issue, but I suspect it has a lot to do with the fact that Shakira’s perky tits and onion ass trump Sonja Sotomayor’s Princeton education, Yale Law degree, and 56 year-old boobs and booty. I mean, Sotomayor is a smart woman, with a lot of experience, but have you seen Shakira’s hips? Surely a tramp with a rack like that needs to be listened to, right?

She informed Sanjay that she wasn’t an expert on the Constitution (demonstrating that she is conscious of those who aren’t masters of the obvious), but that the US Constitution was a document which gave freedoms and rights to people of all countries, all around the globe. In stark contrast to Sotomayor’s story of struggle and effort to succeed in a new country, Shakira feels that if you’re simply capable of hopping a fence, the world becomes your oyster.

Newsflash for Shakira:

You’re an entertainer. You have a terrific ass and a formidable rack.

ellWe hear your hips, and they’re saying “I’m tight, I’m sexy, and I’m stupid.” We get it, and we want more of it, but stick to the rap/pop/choreography and leave the thinking, and especially the speaking, to those who are as well-equipped for educated and insightful conjecture as you are for porn and pole dancing.

Don’t get me wrong. I love whores and trashy women. I don’t use them, but I see the need, and appreciate the void they fill. They are as important a part of our economy as doctors, lawyers, judges, and community organizers. And I love an accomplished pole dancer/ass-shaker/titty-squisher. Lord knows I love them! Dancers, porn-stars, and sexy Latina pop stars are ALL people who I appreciate, respect for what they do, and support however I can (whenever my incredibly wonderful wife allows 

 Shakira, I love you, amiga, but from now own, we just want to hear your hips, and not your lips.

Deal?